The Origin of Eds
by Jaha Canon
Summary: How the Eds came to be... In the POV of all three Eds
1. Eddy's POV

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The Origin of Eds

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Eds, I probably never will. You'd think with this note I would stop my senseless disclaimers… oh well.

Jaha: Yep, for once I am doing an "ordinary" fanfic. No animal narrations, no new characters (like Rolf's family), etc… Well, I hope it's not going to be too "ordinary"… that would be very out of character for me ^_^!

Cactus Buddy: Jaha, I don't know how much computer time we have, let's just get to writing.

Jaha: Okay okay… so here's The Origin of Eds…

Eddy's POV

I remember the last thing my brother told me before he left. First, he handed me a jawbreaker and I stuck it in my mouth. I never had one before until this one. I was eager to see what it was like since my brother seemed to enjoy them so much. I was hooked right away, but you already know about that, don't you? Anyway, my brother just smiled at me, the younger version of himself, and said that it would be through these candies which I would grow up to be just like him. He raised me to scam, but I am not very good at it. I am kind of short, not exactly a muscle man and I am not the sharpest tool in the shed either. Not that I am going to go around advertising that, no way, as far as everyone else is concerned, I consider myself the best. That's the way it works in my family, after all. I asked my brother how my short and kind of slow "friend" could possibly pull off the art of scamming. He told me that my "friend" (he knew very well I had none) should start off with a couple of pals to help out. Then he called me a twerp and was gone.

_Great… where am I going to get friends?_

No problem! There are plenty of saps in this cul-de-sac who would be happy to do my bidding- err… I mean, be my friends. Like that Kevin loser, or maybe that wood loving Jonny. PLENTY of saps (heh, saps… wood). I walk over to Kevin.

"Hey Kev! What's up?"

Kevin looked up, he frowned.

"Dork!" he said as he rode away.

My brother has only been gone 5 minutes and I am already losing respect! What's up with that?

Okay, so, looking further over my list. Let's see… there is that wimpy kid, Jimmy, but he'll just cramp my style. He isn't good for anything anyways. I wouldn't pick any girls either, it just wouldn't work with any of them in this neighborhood. I guess that Sarah Jimmy's always hanging out with has a brother, but he doesn't get out much. I shouldn't take any chances. 

Jonny is a definite no. If I had to spend an extended amount of time around _that _weirdo, _I _might think I hear that plank of wood speaking. Rolf? Well, the guy scares me, besides, he only has time for farming and chores… boring. There is this one kid in the house on the corner but I've never met him, I guess he's one of those quiet, mama's boy types. 

Okay, so I guess I am alone in this. No big deal. All I gotta do is get together a scam.

I got it! The best scam this world has ever seen! My brother would be so proud!

I can make a giant slot machine! Put it in the middle of the park. Those suckers would put all their money in it, expecting to win… but they won't. It's okay, bro, your little brother's going to be okay!

Now all I gotta do is build it. I gathered some random household appliances and stacked them up in the part in a shape that KIND of looked like a slot machine. 

Something was missing… 

Suddenly, I noticed someone walking by, carrying a refrigerator. The had a vacant look to him. He went to the swings, put the refrigerator next to him, and sat down. He looked at his feet, studying his shoes. Wait… I think I know the guy, that's Sarah's brother…

"Hey! Come here!" I called.

The boy looked behind him, and then under his shoe, in the refrigerator… After a long search to find whoever else I could have been calling, he came over to me.

"Hullo! My name is Ed aka the man of sushi from planet Scotland!"

Okay… that WAS confusing.

"I'm Eddy. Why do you have that refrigerator?"

"Baby sister told me not to come back" Ed replied chuckling to himself. 

"Why do you have that refrigerator?" I ask again, this guy's kind of annoying, but in a funny sort of way.

"Sarah told me I can bring a snack"

"Big appetite you got there, big guy!" I said.

He smiled, "You too!"

Ed, then, noticed my scam. His eyes widened in panic.

"Is that the mutant from 'I Was A Mutant in the Park Near Your House' the sequel?"

"No, it's a slot machine."

"Next to my big toe it is" Ed said with disbelief.

  
As much as it didn't make much sense to me, he was right. It didn't look or act as a slot machine should. It WAS missing something. I looked at his refrigerator… THAT'S what it needs. Errr… I think. 

"Hey, it's Ed right? Can I borrow your refrigerator?"

Ed froze, pondering on how to answer. I must have waited there for hours as he pondered his difficult question. 

"47?" he asked.

"GIVE ME YOUR REFRIGERATOR!" I shouted.

"Awww… that was going to be my next guess." Ed complained. He picked up his refrigerator and dropped it directly on my foot.

"EEOOOUUCHH!" 

"Whoops, sorry!" Ed replied trying to look innocent. 

Heh, no problem, big guy, I am going to be rich. I can just pick this thing up off my foot and bring it over to the- ARG… it's too heavy.

"Hey Lumpy" I said. This guy's got a nickname already, "want to help me move this refrigerator?"

Ed easily picked up the refrigerator and put it among the rest of my junk… I mean slot machine. This guy could be of some help, I should enlist him as one of my lackeys… I mean "friends". He, then, turned to me and saluted. 

"Good work, private" I said, while laughing.

Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. 

"Messy messy messy!" 

I turn to see another guy, I guess he's from that house on the corner. You know, the guy I mentioned earlier. Never really seen him before, but what I see now only confirms my suspicions. Yep, quiet mama's boy. He wore a sock hat on his head.

"Mess? This is a grade A scam you're looking at!" I told him. 

The new guy looked over my creation. 

"What is it?" he asked.

"A slot machine." I said proudly.

"I guess it could be a slot machine." the boy said squinting and tilting his head. 

Okay, now, I'm mad. "Well, let's see you improve it." I challenged. The guy just walked up to the slot machine and started moving things around. Whenever he couldn't move something, he asked Ed to help him. 

"Hey! You're ruining it" I called out, but he didn't hear me.

I turn away, I couldn't bear to watch.

"COMPLETE!" I heard his chirpy voice say behind me. I turned around to see the damages.

__

What damages? Somehow, with all those random household items, the guy made an exact replica of the slot machine. It was awesome. 

"Although I don't approve of the habit of wasting money, nonetheless, I think I did a good job." he said, wiping sweat from his forehead. 

"It's okay…" I say, I am not going to let him know he did a better job than I did. Err… even though it's actually works as a slot machine should. This guy's smart. Maybe he could have some use too.

"I'm Edward, by the way, and you are?"

"Names Eddy, that's Ed over there." This guy needs a nickname, I never liked being called Edward, no friend of mine is going to be called Edward either. 

Ed ran up to us. Pretending to be a plane or something. 

"Hello, you must be Ed. I'm Edward." 

Ed blinked, "If I am Ed then I am Edward, but if Edward is Ed, then Edward is me and I am Edward which is kind of like Eddy who is also Edward who is Ed and Eddy so if there were two Ds in Ed, than that would also be Edward so you should be called Double D!"

Edward, now Edd or Double D, looked really confused. He didn't know what to think of his new names.

Yeah, that name, Double D had a good ring to it, "Yeah! You are now going to be called Double D!"

Edd looked uncomfortable, "Well, okay. I've never had a nickname before"

"Get used to it, Sockhead! Now, about this slot machine scam. Let's build a casino around it!" 

Oh yeah, those were the good old days, the kids were not used to our scams yet, so they fell for them hook, line, and stinker. I took the boys to the candy store where I introduced them to the greatness known as Jawbreaker. And so the Eds were born!

-End-

Jaha: R+R, I don't know how good this is. I actually usually dislike most everything I write until a minimum of 3 days after I post them. I hope you enjoyed it! 

Cactus Buddy: Oy oy oy *shakes head*


	2. Ed's POV

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The Origin of Eds

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: You know what? I still don't own the Eds. Does that surprise you?

Well, I wasn't originally planning to do the other Eds' POVs, but then ZephyrSamba mentioned that I should in the review and a couple other reviews got the idea that it was my original intention. Well, I found myself with some time now, so I guess I will.

Cactus Buddy: Peer pressure, huh?

Jaha: Yeah… anyways, you can thank Zeph for the next two chapters. 

Ed's POV

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I really don't understand mustard, I mean, why is it so yellow? And if you put mustard in the refrigerator, would it turn into a banana slug? Would it be a flesh eating mutant? And if so, would it take over the world? Would it eat Sarah? 

I broke out of my train of thought. I had to save Sarah before the slugs got her. I rushed up the stairs from my room. 

Sarah was in the kitchen with Jimmy. I ran to my baby sister, she was okay. She yelled at me for pushing Jimmy into the refrigerator. 

"Nope, no time for that! As it is time for saving baby sisters!" I exclaimed. I picked her up and drove under the table and covered Sarah's mouth… just in time too. 

We were invaded! I didn't see it but I could hear screeching and clawing coming from the direction of the refrigerator. When the inhuman screeching ended. I silently crept out of my hiding spot. After a quick look-around, I was in my happy place. I saved my sister. 

'Sarah's going to be so proud of me!' I thought, I turned to Sarah. She was so proud she was growling with pride. 

"ED, YOU IDIOT!" she screamed.

I grinned, "Your welcome!" It's so nice to be appreciated. 

It was then when Sarah screamed: "GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK!"

My stomach growled, "…but Sarah! I'm hungry!" 

Sarah was so happy, "THEN GET A SNACK THEN LEAVE!" she screamed as she turned away from me, crossing her arms. 

Time for the fearless warrior to claim his award. I walked over to the refrigerator and decided that I was pretty hungry, so I took the whole thing. I guess I kinda broke the wall on my way out. I could hear Sarah screaming something about Jimmy in the refrigerator again. Why would Jimmy be in the refrigerator.

I walked to the park, and sat on the swings. Then I stared at my shoes. 

"Hey! Come here!" I heard. I looked up to see some guy talking to someone. 

I look behind me and wonder if he can see the elves too, nope, I don't think he has the power. He has a neat pile of junk though. I look under my shoe to try to find the person. No one there either. I opened my refrigerator and saw something. It looked at me with frightened eyes, shivering.

'AHHH! Leftover sushi!' I think as I slam the door shut. Sushi? I stop to think about this for a while… sushi. 

I decide to go over to the guy, and tell him about sushi.

"Hullo! My name is Ed aka the man of sushi from planet Scotland!" I say. 

Yep, I am good at explaining things. But this guy didn't get it. Foolish mortal!

"I'm Eddy. Why do you have that refrigerator?" the guy said.

I think for a while, why do these people ask such hard questions. Okay, okay! I think I got an answer!

"Baby sister told me not to come back" I answered chuckling to myself. 

"Why do you have that refrigerator?" Eddy asked again.

Hmm… I guess that was the wrong answer. I think I bit longer. Oh! Oh! I got it!

"Sarah told me I can bring a snack" I said, he seemed to like this answer. 

Then I started thinking about Christmas. Santa Claus is coming to town in only six months! I should start preparing the gravy…

And then Eddy said something like: "Big appetite you got there, big guy!"… or was it, "Merry Christmas!"

I liked the Christmas one better. I like Christmas. My favorite holiday next to Meatloaf night. 

"You too!"

I decided to get off the Christmas subject and look at the pretty pile of junk Eddy had. I wish I had a pile of junk like that. I'd swim in it all day long. But then I noticed it looked kind of familiar.

"Is that the mutant from 'I Was A Mutant in the Park Near Your House' the sequel?" I asked, hopefully. Oh, I hope it is! I hope it is!

"No, it's a slot machine." Eddy answered.

"Next to my big toe it is" I said, yeah right, and I'm the Queen of Frosted Flakes! 

I'm the queen of Frosted Flakes? I didn't know that.

I was still working on that thought when Eddy said another hard question:

"Hey, it's Ed right? Can I borrow your refrigerator?"

Uh oh! I think my brain is going to explode. First I discover I have royal cereal blood, next thing I know it the refrigerator is Ed, and borrowing is right! Left? So…. So…

"47?" I guess. It seems right to me. 

I guess Eddy has the same way of showing happiness as Sarah, because he yelled "GIVE ME YOUR REFRIGERATOR!" really loud.

"Awww… that was going to be my next guess." I say. Really, it was! In fact, I think I saw something like that on a documentary on TV… or was it the Home Shopping Network? Something about refrigerators… and getting them. Oh well, no time to think about this, Eddy wants my snack. I pick it up and put it gently in front of him. 

"EEOOOUUCHH!" Eddy shouted. I noticed then that the refrigerator was on his foot.

"Whoops, sorry!" 

Eddy tried to pick up the refrigerator, but I guess he decided because it was my snack I should carry it.

"Hey Lumpy, want to help me move this refrigerator?" he asked. Such a nice guy. I picked up the refrigerator and brought it over to the pile of junk. Then I turned and saluted and Eddy said ""Good work, private."

Then another guy walked up, he had a hat. 

"Messy messy messy!" he said. 

He and Eddy got into an argument about the pile of junk, I stood there, smiling blankly. 

"Well, let's see you improve it." Eddy told the new guy. 

The guy walked up to the pile of junk and started telling me to move things for him. This pile of junk is starting to look really pretty. But Eddy said something about ruining it and turned away. 

The guy opened my refrigerator and gasped. He pulled the sushi out of the refrigerator. I almost warned him to beware of rotting seaweed when I realized that it was just Jimmy… boy was he shaking a lot. The guy asked Jimmy if he was alright, but then he saw me and was so happy to see Sarah's big brother that he ran away.

"COMPLETE!" the new guy said. I looked at the junk, it was really cool now. It looked just like a slot machine. 

Then the new guy started talking and I didn't understand a word he said. Funny guy, talking jibberish. I was going to reply in his native tongue and say "Blah blah blah to you too!" when Eddy walked up and said that it was okay.

I started pretending to be a plane, flying to this new guy's home planet where they understand him. Then he said his name was Edward… THEN MY BRAIN STARTED GOING!

__

If there are three Edwards, and one is Ed, and another is Eddy. Then one should be Edd- but that's my name only with two Ds, like Double D. I'd better explain this to them…

"If I am Ed then I am Edward, but if Edward is Ed, then Edward is me and I am Edward which is kind of like Eddy who is also Edward who is Ed and Eddy so if there were two Ds in Ed, than that would also be Edward so you should be called Double D!" 

I am so good at explaining things, I should be a professor of buttered toast science at the local university!

Eddy said he liked the name, so I was in my happy place.

So me and my pals Double Dee and Eddy got some money from the kids and we bought these round candies and they were good. 

-End of Ed POV-

Jaha: Wow… this was really hard. Usually Ed POVs make absolutely no sense at all, and when they do, they seem REALLY out of character. I was trying to portray Ed's thought process in the simplest way possible and still keep his character. Did I do a good job, Cactus Buddy?

Cactus Buddy: *blinks* I don't know…

Jaha: Neither do I really. The readers will know though! Please review!


	3. Edd's POV

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The Origin of Eds

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I don't own the Eds and their neighbors… still.

Jaha: Alright, time for the last part of the story!

Cactus Buddy: Let's see if this is any good.

Jaha: Well, if it's not I'll just delete it and pretend it never existed.

Cactus Buddy: *blinks* That's an interesting way to handle it. 

Edd's POV

I never really thought about going outside and socializing with the other kids. Most of the time they play sports, and I'm not very good at those. And I'm sure they couldn't possibly be the type of people who would find my ant farm or my butterfly collection interesting. You would think I would have to put up with constant parental nagging telling me to go outside to get some fresh air, and maybe some exercise. However, my parents' jobs require them to leave early in the morning, then return late at night… so there is a lot of cleaning to do. I don't mind, cleaning is a hobby of mine- well, actually it's more like a comfortable routine that I wouldn't feel right abandoning. I am a horrible creature of habit. Sometimes I wish I could break out of my neurotic routine once in a while, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. 

The most I am ever going to break out of routine anytime soon would be to take a walk. It wouldn't be a long one if I were to now, because it is going to be time to shampoo the rugs in 10 minutes. 

10 minutes, what am I to do until then? This has already caused a terrible disturbance in my daily process, but I feel like I should be enjoying this. Maybe a stroll is in order. I step out of my house and briefly ponder over whether I should have sunscreen for my visit to the outside world. I'm just going to be out for 10 minutes- no more. It is a nice day, I really should have brought my binoculars to see if I could identify any of the birds, but I already decided on a walk. 

I stood there and took in the world outside my front door for a couple seconds. I really _do_ have a "going outside" problem, don't I? My skin is a unnaturally pale shade. I was distracted from my thoughts when I saw a boy my age walking down the sidewalk across the street for me. 

I read this book recently, "Making Friends. Having a Social Life." You see, I enjoy having books covering several topics, just in case I may need the information someday. I am about to call across the street to get his attention when I notice that he is carrying a refrigerator. 

'Perhaps it is broken and he is seeking assistance in repairing it' I think briefly. I see him walk with a vacant expression past the houses and around the corner. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there a park there? Why would some bring a refrigerator to a park? 

Not forgetting I'm to be home ten minutes from now, I debate whether I should follow him. I wouldn't want to be intrusive, but curiosity is getting the better of me. 

_'Well, I'll just see what he's up to and head right back.' _I think as I round the corner. My thoughts of shampooing rugs came to a screeching halt when I saw before me…

An gigantic thrown-together accumulation of worthless litter placed in the middle of the playground. A horrible collection of misplaced household appliances and random objects that not even I- a genius -can identify within the clutter! The boy who had the refrigerator was looking with awe, waving his arms as if he were swimming. Another boy was looking at it with an overwhelming pride washed over his face.

"Messy messy messy" I commented before I could think about what I was saying. The other boy spun around to see me with a offensive glare. I jumped back with surprise.

"Mess? This is a grade A scam you're looking at!" he told me. 

He's kidding, right? I hardly think that any teacher would give ANY student an A for something as disorganized and sloppy as this- wait, did he say "scam?"

"What is it?" I asked. 

"A slot machine." he said with a lot of pride.

It doesn't look a thing like one, but I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. 

"I guess it could be a slot machine." I said, squinting. I wish I were less honest and more convincing. I really didn't want to him to get angry with me again, but I guess I did.

"Well, let's see you improve it." he replied, gesturing towards his *ahem* creation. 

I was going to politely decline, but looking at it, I was suddenly inspired. Yes, I think this will work! I began making some "slight" alterations-changing just about everything. I asked the boy who had the refrigerator to help me move some things. I figured since he was strong enough to carry the refrigerator around, he wouldn't have any troubles helping me out a little. 

While ignoring calls of "Hey! You're ruining it" from the guy behind me, I heard a weak scratching from the refrigerator that has made it's way into the soon-to-be-slot-machine. I opened it and gasped as I saw a pale boy with a retainer frozen, staring at me with terrified eyes. I pulled him out and asked him if he was alright. He took one look at the guy who carried him to the park (who I am now figuring is not too bright) and ran off. He shouldn't have done that in his condition. Oh well, I had a project anyways. 

I finally finished, "COMPLETE!" I say. I must say that I am pretty impressed with myself right now. 

"Although I don't approve of the habit of wasting money, nonetheless, I think I did a good job." I continued, wiping sweat from my forehead. 

"It's okay…" the stubborn boy said, he seems impressed though. 

"I'm Edward, by the way," I said, figuring my daily routine can wait just for once, "and you are?"

"Names Eddy, that's Ed over there." said the stubborn one. I guess Eddy and Ed had just met too.

Ed ran up to us pretending to be a plane, I stifle a laugh. 

"Hello, you must be Ed. I'm Edward." I say. 

Ed seemed to think about something for a while:

"If I am Ed then I am Edward, but if Edward is Ed, then Edward is me and I am Edward which is kind of like Eddy who is also Edward who is Ed and Eddy so if there were two Ds in Ed, than that would also be Edward so you should be called Double D!"

He sounded just like a math teacher I once had who would use the same tone of voice when he reached a exciting conclusion in a problem. But for once I feel like one of those confused students who have no clue where the conclusion came from instead of the brainy one who has followed every step in the equation. 

Right now, I'm too busy thinking about my new name. Eddy seemed to like it a lot, but I've never had a nickname before, but I agreed anyways.

Next thing I knew it, I was building a casino around that slot machine. I soon learned what Eddy's goal is in life, to get money from the kids to buy candied spheres called Jawbreakers. I didn't understand it until I tried one.

I have a confession… I didn't shampoo the rug that day…

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Jaha: Hmmm….

Cactus Buddy: You don't know what to say, do you Jaha? You don't know what to think of this story…

Jaha: *nods*

Cactus Buddy: Don't worry, readers, she'll figure it out.

Jaha: *stomach growls* haha, I'm hungry. *giggles*


End file.
